Wintry mix

I forget that often our coldest, or at least messiest, weather comes in February. This year it's both (often the coldest is in January). I really have to say I don't remember it being this cold for so long in years past. Maybe I'll look back at this blog this time next year and think, "oh yeah, I just forgot again that it does get this cold for so long here."

Or maybe I'm still getting used to my little, poorly insulated house. I need to remember to turn the heat down when I leave for the day. My dad suggested that I post my last utilties bill by the door. It was seriously painful--more than my parents' house, which is twice the size of mine.

It's snowed a number of times in the last few weeks, though we only had ground cover for part of a day + icy roads on another day. Still, any snow, even determined flurries, is something worth talking about in the South. For many people, it's worth mobbing the grocery store any time there's more than a 40% chance of snow. I try not to buy into that hysteria, even if it means I'll end up eating french-cut green beans out of can, accompanied with expired milk.

Home improvements

After almost two years, I found the perfect rug for my dining room. It's from the most mundane of stores -- Pier 1 -- but it is perfect. It's blue-gray to echo the aqua couch in the adjoining room, and it has a pattern of gingko leaves scattered across in a different weave. I had to drive across town to the other store because they were almost out of stock.

As soon as I saw it, I knew it was the right one. Over the last two years I've seen possible candidates, but none that ever made me jump to it. I would always tell myself to think it over, and inevitably I would forget about it. But that's how I make decisions, just like my mom; trust that you'll know it when you see it, then keep your eyes open and just wait for it to arise.

Not that rugs are terribly important, but I make most significant choices this way--houses, jobs, men. With the first two, I've been pretty successful. My choices seem pretty skewed on the last. I'm still working on it.

On a much smaller but equally satisfying scale, I also bought new shower curtain rings. The old ones that came with the house had a pretty shell design, but they were the open-hook kind, which means at least a couple fall off the rod pretty much every time you move the curtain. I want to know who thinks these are a good idea?

Apparently someone likes them, because there were many assorted brands and designs at Lowe's, and only one style of the ones I wanted -- the cinching, fully closed loops with cylindrical ball bearings for easy sliding. Growing up, we always had plastic ones that worked fine, but the metal ones are so posh. Plus, they make a pleasing shhhsh shhhsh sound when you move them around.

I took my decorative shower curtain down to wash it, so I showered with just the clear liner this morning which was like 1) being in a fish bowl, looking out at my bathroom and 2) like being the bubble boy from Seinfeld. Also, it was much sunnier. Maybe I would be more alert and cheerful in the morning if I just nixed the shower curtain.

Forgotten

Today also sucked. It occurs to me that this is the kind of suckitude that you just have to wait out. Maintain a low profile; keep your mouth shut as much as possible. I find, though, that it's best not to attempt faking cheerfulness. I can't pull it off, so I end up looking even more unnatural and scary than I already feel.

Last night while I was awake from 3 to 4, listening to the planes come in, I thought of the perfect, witty little post for my blog. I was trying to go back to sleep, though, and so I didn't want to move around too much. Needless to say, I forgot it.

One thing that did please me today was that my coworker was talking about he likes to think and communicate in lists--whether emailing or just speaking. First of all, he's always listing his reasons for whatever. Second, he has to make lists for the people he manages every day.

I hadn't thought of it, but I love communicating via list, too. (Maybe this is why my colleague and I have happened into our project management jobs.) I might go so far as to say that, when I'm writing, a list is the most comfortable and satisfying form. It's not unlike the feeling I get when I where all black. Around age 14, I decided it was the natural order of things. The sense of everything being right when I wear black still persists.

Monday thoughts

Loose re-enactment of my train of thought this morning:

1) I don't want to spend my life dealing with piddly user errors and low-level bullshit.

2) Oh, wait. I think I have the chance to rise to the occasion and establish myself as more than that. In fact, my supervisors seem to have recognized this potential in me and are expecting me to do so. This is an exciting opportunity, and maybe a turning point in my career.

3) I feel totally overwhelmed. Someone has to deal with the piddly stuff while I'm rising to the occasion, and it appears that it also has to be me. Also, I don't know if I have the drive or will to rise to the occasion. Or if I even care about any of this. All I know is, I don't want to work 24/7.

4) Paralysis. Shit. This sucks.

More exclamation point

I brought up the prevalent exclamation point to one of my colleagues yesterday. While we were meeting, he got an email from a department assistant with the urgent marker -- an announcement for a department lecture happening that day. I started my rant, and he responded with the most beautiful idea ever. He said, I just removed the exclamation point column from Outlook a long time ago because it's stupid.

So when I got back to my office, I ditched that column, too. Equality has been restored to my inbox, so ads for viahhgeara will get the same attention as messages from my president. All is right with the world.