Palimpsest

Have I mentioned before that I love the word "palimpsest"?

Yesterday I mentioned signs of approaching fall, and today I was rewarded with the first possibility of cooler temperatures. It's supposed to be 64 tonight, woo!

Yesterday I was talking to my boss about the major planning that needs to happen in the next few weeks in order for us to be on track with this new web site. Because of course, launch doesn't mean it's finished by a long shot. She said, maybe you should think about working part of the day in the library or from home.

I scoffed. Of course I can concentrate in my office. I have everything I need here, it's great. I've been nothing but proven wrong since then--constant interruptions with phone calls, drop-by's, emergencies. I've been working my butt off, but on all the wrong things. If I don't focus soon, all the goodwill we've generated with our pretty new site will start to fizzle.

It seems all my friends in the executive realm here are very good about budgeting their time. They are available at certain times of day for phone calls or emails or meetings, but they set boundaries for alone time. They close their doors or work off-site. But I wonder if that's an option for me because, while they have people beating down their doors too, they're not on the front line of service in quite the same way. And they have secretaries. Also, they get up insanely early and work long hours and weekends.

Which leads me to wonder if I would even aspire to a higher position. There is a certain satisfaction in getting tasks and completing them well, but I wish I did have more time to plan, research, think things through. Use my brain without feeling pressed by every minor crisis and task. On the other hand, the things I think of as truly fulfilling have little to do with my job--things like gardening, painting, writing, reading, cooking.

There are good things about my job, too, especially the people. People also are the worst part. People are funny that way. All of this is just to say that once again I'm asking myself what I want to do. I'm not really thinking of leaving my job, not for another few years, at least. It's pretty sweet, and I do need to earn a living. Not sure I could get a better gig that is this lucrative and secure. May keep my eye out for other positions in the same organization, though.

It may just be the restlessness that always precedes fall.

Harbingers of fall

Signs I've noticed this week that fall indeed is coming:

1. Mushy green pecan bits smashed on the sidewalks in my neighborhood. The premature ones always start dropping with the rain.

2. Rain. Actual, glorious rain! And I don't mean a summer thunderstorm the rolls through in 15 minutes. I mean the skies cloudy for days, little showers followed by big teardrops.

3. The liriope (monkey grass) starting to shoot up its little purple stalks of blooms.

4. Dawn is creeping in much later. I notice because I still have intermittent insomnia. Seems like the sun was rising at 4:45 just last week, and now it's what, an hour later?

5. Cicada skins perched on my fence and shingles, and other moribund bugs finding their way into the house.

6. All the fall events (CY Festival, Crafts Fair, Homecoming) just around the corner.

7. Did I mention it's been raining?

A sad realization

I took a few days off around last weekend, as I mentioned in my incomplete vacation report. So today, I went to fill out my vacation report sheet, and I realized I only have FY 05-06 saved. I haven't needed one since the last fiscal year, nearly two months ago. That made me sigh. No wonder my fake cancer (pain in the side that went away over vacation) has returned already.

Vacation report

Day 1 (Thursday): Slight hangover from post-launch party (if you're wondering, the site did launch on time with only a few technical consequences. Still a lot of cleanup and debugging that needs to happen, but to the audience most of these are not detectable) causing nasty head/neck/backache. Otherwise, spirits are good.

And despite hangover and slightly queasy stomach, the persistent ache in my lower abdomen on the left, which I had decided was intestinal cancer, has disappeared entirely. Isn't stress funny that way?

I don't think I mentioned I got a lovely new toy a few weeks ago. Oh, and I got the education deal with the free iPod Nano and printer. All of this forced me to join the 21st century and get DSL. The new iMacs don't even come with a dial-up modem. It's all well and good. I agonized over the cable vs. DSL choice for a few days, went with the cheaper, and finally set it up on Thursday. Remarkably easy, and I'm blessed with a good, fast connection. Much excitement.

Also did some shopping with Jo and picked a light celery color to paint the bathroom and hallway. Painting probably won't happen for a while, but at least I have the color!

Day 2 (Friday): Got up insanely early, same as Thursday. Sleeping still somewhat interrupted and once I wake at 6 am I start thinking about work and/or all the things I want to do over the long weekend I'm taking.

Sat down at computer mid-morning and sent an email, and guess what? DSL died a spectacular death mid-stream. Spent about and hour on the phone with very polite tech support in the Philippines (I didn't ask, as my dad always likes to, what country I'd reached; I spent childhood summers in the Philippines, I can hear the accent). Verdict: my alarm system needs a special filter.

Went to Jo's white coat ceremony, which took place in the same church where my college baccalaureate and graduation (which should have been outdoors, but got rained out) took place. Lots of young med students, many showing remarkable cleavage. You just don't expect future doctors to look like Tri-delts, but we are in the south, and this is a big recruiter from Vandy undergrad.

Reception with Jo's family and friends afterwards, and then a lovely dinner out. Got in bed at 10. Ahhhh, bed.

Day 3 (Saturday, so far): Woke up at 9. Wow! I really needed those 11 hours of sleep. Maybe this signals the true break in insomnia. Won't surprise me if I sleep 11 hours again tonight.

Thanks to my sweet father, who loves to hunt down a bargain, I have a DSL filter for my alarm bought from a wholesaler at a substantially smaller price than the same one the alarm company would have sold me. I just plugged it in. We'll see if DSL is still moribund. It had revived itself last night, but according to DSL support it can come and go without the filter.

Actually had time to do yoga today. Jo gave me a yoga ball for my birthday, so it travels from room to room with me like a pet. Very fun.

Getting ready to sand my door so I can finally paint it red ("rum punch" to be exact). I've had the paint chip since about February, and the paint for a couple of weeks. More setup is in order -- the free printer, some light fixtures and a mail sorting thingy. Order is returning to my house.

Let the record show...

...that this is the last weekend I plan to spend in the office for a very long time.