An army of leprechauns

During the approx. 4 hours I spent this weekend pulling weeds, I decided that I'll have to go ahead and hire one of those weed-killing and fertilizing lawn services. Much as I enjoy weeding my lawn (no kidding), life is too short. My only other option is to employ a small army of leprechauns, and I hear they've unionized.

Go ahead and make fun. I admit, I have fully embraced the suburban lifestyle.

Growing up, we never had a nice lawn. Partly, it was because the huge oak and the huge magnolia in the front yard gave too much shade for grass to grow. We had really nice, spongy patches of moss, though. The other reason was my dad's refusal to become a suburban man. He says one day he came home from work and went out to get the mail. He looked to his left and saw men watering their lawns. He looked to his right and saw men watering their lawns. And so he decided not to join the infinite regress of men holding garden hoses.

But, I inherited a lawn so thick the mounds of grass are actually hard to walk on--kind of like walking on the beach. Seems a shame to waste it and all.