Mold College

Now that the pipe is fixed, we're moving on to The Water Damage People, who have a much greater sense of urgency about things. One company came out yesterday to do the "emergency treatment," which consisted of putting gigantic fans all over my deconstructed kitchen and in the living room, plus a man-sized de-humidifier in the dining room that pees out water through a long, funky hose placed in my bathtub. It's like having a big, warm quadroplegic hanging out in the middle of my house.

I am skeptical on many levels about this emergency treatment. A competing Water Damage Person came out this morning and confirmed my suspicion--that you don't want fans blowing mold spores all over your house. So, the fans are off for now. (Aside: there's a physicist lecturing at work/school next week about how various things in nature share the same structures--spirals in frog eggs, ripples in sand, the big spot on Jupiter. I think mold spores and metastasizing cancers must share some sinister parallel structure.)

It looks like Water Damage Person #2 will likely get the cleanup job, although I liked the first people a lot. #2 just really knows his stuff. I talked to a third WDP, a bigger company not really interested in my plight, and he recommended #2 because he's highly trained. "He's been to Mold College," said WPD #3.

And #2 did impressed. He walked around with his little ghostbuster-type water detecting device and talked at length about what can and should be done. Apparently, I have "black water" under the kitchen floor, as well as "contaminated drywall." It all sounds dire to me, but he seems to think the cleanup part will only take a couple of days.

The part that will take longer is replacing the floor they'll tear up and whatever damage they do to the walls. So, I'll be getting the new kitchen I didn't know I wanted. At least I'll be able to replace the white linoleum floor that shows every speck of dirt. Who thought white linoleum was ever a good idea?